If you can't say anything nice...

Okay, so I'll prefix this with the warning that it is out of chronological order. The incident I'm talking about took place on Wednesday, but I still feel the need to blog about it so here goes.
So on Wednesday there was a frocking ceremony. For those unfamiliar with Navy ways, it means people get to wear their shiny new insignia but won't actually get paid for it until the great powers that be in Wherevertheheckistan feel like paying them. (I'm serious- sometimes it takes multiple phonecalls and several months!)
Anyway. It's a big deal, everyone's dressed to the eights, lots of clapping and 'job well done'-saying.
So I got there absurdly early to get a good seat and before the ceremony starts, I start overhearing a conversation behind me. I can't help it, it's just how I'm wired. If you put a cereal box in front of me and say "Don't read this", I'll still read it. It's like a reflex action. Likewise, hearing the conversation of other people if they don't actually make the effort for me to not overhear them... Not proud of this, it's just how my ears work.
~
She: Argh. It's so frustrating to see these people getting advanced! How many of them really know their jobs? They're going to go out to the fleet and get people killed because they think they know what they're doing and they don't have a lick of sense between every five of them! Argh!

He: Mumblemuble>toughjob.butIguessyou'reright.
She: It drives me nuts to see them just handed this! Anywhere else this MEANS something. Here, people get on my case because I'm _just_ a first class! They think I'm a screwup who could have made chief already >rant revealing obvious insecurities goes here<.
~
It was longer and more heart-felt than that, and what I heard on the plus side was that there is a very concerned first class who's worried about the future of the Navy. On the negative side... that wasn't the time or place for such a rant. It's a ceremony about recognizing and advancing these people for their hard work.
Yes, I know, some of them haven't done the job yet. But some of them have. I know some of them will take this 'easy' advancement and abuse the hell out of their shiny new insignia. But some of them won't. I know some of them are lousy sailors. But some of them aren't.
And that first class's comments were an attempt on her part to cheapen what was happening. It was neither the time nor the place for such commentary. If this was such an issue to her, why didn't she write someone who cared? Why did she have to bring her issues to their party?
I should have been up there. Bad luck and a bum calendar kept me from that. I know quite a few people in a similar situation. Some of them are a little bitter about it. I'm not. Honestly, when I get there, I'll be better prepared than I would otherwise have been. But my not being up there didn't mean I had a right to criticise those who were as being inexperienced or lacking in professionalism. The first class's behavior was unsat. Oddly enough, it did nothing to further her 'cred' in my opinion. Prior to her tirade, I saw her as an established professional in our field and someone who I could learn from, even if not in a mentor-protege type situation. I felt that I could just talk to her about what we do in our jobs and that would be fine. Now, knowing her unabashed opinion of some of her juniors, I realise that while she may be an established professional, I wouldn't really want her as a mentor and I'm not sure if I'd want to ask her questions. She'd probably say "Look it up already, slacker!"
Newsflash- if I'm asking a professional question it's because I've already done the research and can't find what I'm looking for.
Argh.
Anyway. We are all human. We all have our failings and our weaknesses and our bad days. But advancement ceremonies/weddings/birthdays/major holidays are times when we have to strive to put our personal feelings aside and think of the other people around us. We have smile and be nice even when we don't feel like it. If she'd said that same rant over dinner in a restaurant to a friend, or even in the parking lot afterwards, it wouldn't have seemed so off.
I don't want to be like that, ever. If I ever do something like that then call me on it, okay?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving sort-of snuck up on me this year, but I have to say so far it's been amazing! For breakfast today I had sweet-potato pie (one of the few regionally southern things I appreciate so far). I then proceeded to clean the bathroom and do two loads of laundry. It felt very productive for a holiday so I had to make up for it by watching Dr. Who while folding the laundry.

Then I went to the command Thanksgiving party. It was an experience! Next time I won't get there quite so early. It's weird to be somewhere too early because you thought they might need more help and they don't but you're standing there awkwardly looking for something to do while people much older than you with much more energy run around doing a million and two things and won't let you help out... Tasty, tasty food and lots of it- turkey, ham, casserole, mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables, more pie and cake than you could shake a stick at. The guy who put it together was a professional chef prior to Navy life and it showed. The Important People showed up and shook hands all around, and despite them the mood was still festive though sadly non-alcoholic.

After the festivities, I volunteered to join the group taking the leftovers to the watchstanders and that was nice. It was awesome to be able to surprise people with plates of still warmish food. There were even a few whole leftover pies. They had leaf decorations on them made out of crusts- detailed to include lines on the leaves. Really magnificent presentation.

On a more personal note, on Thanksgiving I am particularly thankful for:
My family (near/far, sane/otherwise)
My friends (the family one gets to pick!)
My coworkers (peers and superiors- don't have any subordinates)
My domicile (which will be even cleaner by the end of this four-day weekend)
My roomie (who has the patience of one of the beatified if not a saint)
My job (hurrah for gainful employment)
My car (which will also be cleaned this weekend)
My health (which aside from another round of shinsplints couldn't be better)
My faith (which praises the often forgotten virtue of gratitude)

All in all, it has been a wonderful day.

Wikipedia Random Article...

is reading my mind and it is kind of creepy.
But it's kind of nice too, that the random article feature even exists. I use it frequently on breaks between classes. I rarely feel like I have time to dash over to the coffee shop -even though I could probably get away with it- and the coffee shop is the only place near enough that I could even hope to get to on a break. I think I need to start bringing a non-class-related book to read over the breaks, because my poor little brain is shrivelling. It's soo unhappy right now. I can see why a lot of my more senior colleagues have taken to drinking. But wikipedia random article is sustaining me for now. I've learned all kinds of useless things about many places and things, and even people sometimes. I have read about sports teams, a monument in China, Olympic athletes, bugs, inventors, my former area of expertise (FAE) and many, many more things.
Most of it is completely useless. All of it is random, so if anyone's taking note, they are going to think that I am very, very strange.

I wish I had more interesting things to talk about, especially because I think I might actually have a readership right now. But whatever. Got a visitor coming from Savannah today- not getting here until five. Not sure what we're going to do this evening. Whole thing's a bit awkward.

Test on Monday- argh. Looking forward to the holiday weekend, will probably go to the command T-day party and then help bring food to the people who are standing the watch.

Armistice Day

IN FLANDERS FIELD

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
-Lt.Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army


"Rain"
Rain, midnight rain, nothing but the wild rain
On this bleak hut, and solitude, and me
Remembering again that I shall die
And neither hear the rain nor give it thanks
For washing me cleaner than I have been
Since I was born into this solitude.
Blessed are the dead that the rain rains upon:
But here I pray that none whom once I loved
Is dying tonight or lying still awake
Solitary, listening to the rain,
Either in pain or thus in sympathy
Helpless among the living and the dead,
Like a cold water among broken reeds,
Myriads of broken reeds all still and stiff,
Like me who have no love which this wild rain
Has not dissolved except the love of death,
If love it be for what is perfect and
Cannot, the tempest tells me, disappoint.
-Edward Thomas. 1878-1917


Pray for the living and the dead.

It figures

So we have a command run today to commemorate the fallen. I hate command runs with a passion, even ones that happen for causes more worthy than 'Because I said so'. Oh well. I was totally resigned to the fact that I would have to drag my stupid body over three miles at something like speed at an ungodly hour. Until I woke up at five twenty with the cold shivers.
Oh yes.
Mandatory flu shots happened less than a week ago. So I now have the cold shivers, the sore throat, the achy limbs, other less mentionable symptoms and no appointment. Because at 0615 all the appointments are gone already. Yay, free healthcare.
It remains to be seen if my chain of command decides to take mercy on me. Because if not I guarantee this will be one time that I'm not falling out due to shin splints.
Details to follow.

Really, sir? Really truly?

When your SEL is giving you the hairy eyeball, there is probably a reason why. And part of that might have something to do with you saying "I will personally inspect my entire command" when said command consists of slightly over one thousand souls.
I might add that this is after said command has already been inspected by division heads. So chiefs and senior chiefs have already given up what could have been a normal morning to inspect everyone in the near dark at a different location than usual. Everyone's done this already in recent memory.
Why are we repeating this evolution?
I guess we clearly have nothing better to do than get up at oh dark thirty on the Monday after Halloween weekend to go to a place we've never been before with the rest of our department and get there an hour before he does and get heightlined by an OCD first class.
Yup.
Oh- and this isn't going to be a 'Good shoes, hm... you'll do' inspection. This is going to be a "What is your seventh general order?" inspection.
Again, really?
With all respect, the vast majority of us have been out of bootcamp for more than one year, will never stand such a watch and have our heads filled to the bursting point with other JOB RELATED bits of info that will help us carry out the mission.
Rargh.
'Cause this guy wants to make admiral. Or he hates us all or something. I mean, there were something like five DUIs right after he took command so I could see why he'd be pissy, but consider the fact that all of those people are on the way out- and we're not! We're the more-or-less good ones who can be trusted to show up for work on time, do our job and not complain until we get home.
And then he goes and does something like this....
It's just a little contrary to good order and discipline if you ask me. Which of course no one has.
Also, it doesn't say much about his faith in his department heads- doesn't he think they can be trusted to do a good job?
It's special. So very special...

The hiatus

So... yep. It's been almost a month since I've posted on this blog. And I have a perfectly good excuse- class has been trampling me into a fine paste. Well, that and the unfall. Seriously not cool.

So what's happened in the past month? I had my birthday- a midweek birthday so not a whole lot to shout about. I didn't even have a drink on my birthday as I'm prepping for the upcoming PRT on Tuesday- probably.

And the accident... I'm not going to forget that in a hurry and I wish I could. I really wish I could. It wasn't my fault, I wasn't hurt and Roderich's still driveable, but...

But every time I have to hit my breaks, or every time a driver on these stupid roads around Ft. SINYF fails to indicate/rides my rear/does something incredibly stupid, I break out in a cold sweat and start to think my time may have come- again. It was really bad, the week of the incident. I couldn't drive. Thankfully it was my carpool's turn anyway, but I couldn't have driven if my life depended on it. Even now, I can still remember what it felt like. The feeling first, the noise of it second, the terror throughout.

But I have good shipmates- they found me after my hysterical phone call once all the cars were safely off the highway. Greg7 and BigScaryJ showed up and I'd never been so happy to see them before. Greg7 hugged me and told me everything was going to be fine. I hugged him back. I was so upset and scared and unhappy and just knowing that there was a friendly person right there that I could hold onto was very comforting. The police actually asked if we were married and made some comment about my ring and I made a shaky, angry comment back about being married to the Navy. There were a lot of phone calls to/from chain of command people, but the most important thing was that Greg7 and BigScaryJ were there when the cops wanted to throw me in jail for driving without insurance. Needless to say I DID have insurance, but my insurance company had failed to communicate adequately with the DMV. Without Greg7 and BigScaryJ there, I don't think I would have had the presence of mind to ask the police to call my insurance company- which they did, and immediately found that I DID have insurance, just like I said.

BigScaryJ drove my car somewhere safe and Greg7 gave me a ride to the party I had been going to- the one that he had left to come find me. I drank some horrible tea that was surprisingly enough a pretty good remedy for shock, and spent the whole party in a daze on the couch- not really asleep but not really there. Not concussed, just really, truly freaked out. But I have good friends. They made sure I got home and everything was fine. I don't think Greg7 really will ever know how helpful he was and how glad I was to see him. He can be a difficult person to deal with/understand sometimes, but I am glad that he is one of my shipmates.