Rant Warning

Maybe I should give up FB…
So this was going to start out as an injunction to others to be careful what they post on FB, and not just in the mundane security senses ie, never post “I’m going on vacation for the next three weeks and I’m leaving the key under the mat so that the person who waters my exotic plants and feeds my expensive cat can get in” unless you want someone to nick both your plants and the cat… and the more I started thinking the more I began to think that maybe the problem wasn’t the other people it was me. Or FB. Or something. Probably mainly me and a bit FB too.
On a tangentially related topic- related because I saw it on FB- I followed a link from a FB-friend to an article talking about how even nominal Christians were engaging in premarital ‘relations’ at a rate pretty much on par with their secular counterparts of the same age and gender. What my FB-friend had commented on it (on FB not on the post which had a hilariously flame-filled comments section btw) was ‘Get married earlier. Seriously. What’s the worst that could happen, you’d be poor?’ I felt as though someone had prodded me in the stomach with the ‘it’s-all-your-fault-western-civilization-is-failing’ stick…

What.

The.

Hell.

Really?? Obviously, that’s the answer, get married younger! You! Lovey-dovey young people! Get your rears in gear and get yourselves properly wedded! Quick! Better to marry than to burn! You must be afraid of poverty but DON’T worry, God will provide! And if He doesn’t at least there’s WIC so you won’t starve!

The fb-friend in question is someone I’ve never met in real life. She’s married to a guy I went to college with. I felt like posting back words to the effect of “I’d love to get married but I’m just not as fortunate at getting a guy as you are, Mrs. Jones.”

One of her other friends shortly thereafter did post something like ‘Takes two to tango’ and I had to like that instead of posting what I wanted to…

I would _happily_ have accepted poverty, a crappy place to live, no car and a stack of student loans if it meant marrying Mr. RightForMe (Writing it all down like that though looks a bit wrong-headed…). Unfortunately he hasn’t turned up yet and I am assuming he must either be somewhere with lousy GPS reception or he’s got his map the wrong way around… so until he does show up, I will *gaspshockhorror* have to manage on my own. Which, by the way, means having student loans steadily getting paid off, living in a decent place and working a decent job which is practically a vocation. I’m getting debt-free and sorting my life out. There are worse places and ways to do it than this.

It was a kind of flippant comment for the woman in question to make but she underlined it by saying ‘no seriously’… seriously… Okay lady. Seriously. You go out there and find some eligible guys for me, club them over the head a few times and convince them that they have to marry me in order to save western civilization... Because I’m not going to be chasing anyone. Goes against my everything.

Oh, and I read the linked article, I found it hilarious in its unimaginativeness. There was a line in there that said something about ‘People waiting into their twenties and thirties- what do we tell them, keep waiting?’… Duh.
Ooh…and my other favourite line was a quote from a subject matter expert who was talking about how in biblical times people married young and didn’t really play the field prior to marriage due to that.

So…marry young hm? Setting aside for a moment the (for some poor unfortunates) insurmountable obstacle of NOT KNOWING MR/MS RIGHT, at what age should people be getting married?

And this is what really gets under my skin and burrows around like a creepy horrible bug… This line of thought ‘Better to marry than to burn, quick marry ‘em off before they disgrace themselves/us’ is unpleasantly familiar sounding. Now where have I heard that before? Oh right. From crazed ayatollahs. From people who say it’s okay to marry an eight year old as long as you promise not to consummate the marriage until she’s 12….

Now, no Christians would do something crazy like that, right? … Right? …

I feel as though there is a distant but shrill and hysterical chorus of people chanting an angry chant at ‘heretical’ successful young single women of the faith. “Misguided Women with Feminist Leanings! Marriage and babies! Western Civilisation depends on YOU! Marriage and babies! Repent and be married and have lots of babies!”
Not quite as distant/shrill/hysterical is the burbling of newly-marrieds “We’re pregnant! Life is awesome when you’re married! We’re awesome and happily married! Did we mention we’re pregnant? Life! Maternity! We’re pregnant again!”

And realistically I know that these women are artfully leaving out the messy/squick moments of marriage/pregnancy/childrearing. And I know that. But they are in the enviable position where the segments of society that we actually care about- ie friends/family/Church-at-Large approve of them. The working single women are looked upon by the same segments as a bit unfortunate and secular coworkers are apt to mistake ‘doesn’t do casual relationships’ for ‘never gets out and don’t bother trying to get to know her’.

Marginalized by one and ignored by the other. Lovely.

Thankfully I know some sane marrieds with sweet kid/s and they are awesome. There aren’t as many of them as there are of the other type, but nonetheless, they are awesome.

End Rant...

So, me not posting anything for a long time isn't AT ALL unusual, although I have a rather better than usual excuse for this particular six months of absolutely nothing on this blog. And I was going to write this awesome post because I just got inspired standing in line at Panera but unfortunately I didn't manage to pack MacAlister's powercord... go me... I packed _sunscreen_ and not the power cord. But seriously if it's the only thing I forget this weekend, I'm doing pretty darn outstanding!

So right, inspiration in line at Panera. A post elsewhere entitled 'Can't Even Go to the Park' by a homeschooling mom talking about PDA in the park has been ticking over in the back of my brain. I was trying to think of where I was on the spectrum. I don't have kids yet so obviously my POV on PDA levels is quite different. And the PDA I couldn't help but see in line at Panera was obviously het. It still made me throw up in my mouth a little, which, right before a good meal is seriously suboptimal.

It wasn't gropey making-out or anything terribly obnoxious but it still provoked a reaction from me. It was hand holding, body holding, hand kissing, shoulder-kissing(??) and it made me think about what was and what wasn't acceptable PDA in public. Prior to this evening I had thought that I was pretty much okay with everything up to kissing in public. A peck on the cheek, okay. And these were just pecks but there were a LOT of them. And before I get any accusations of being some kind of voyuer I will repeat, I really couldn't help but see them. I did eventually stare at the sign over their head and roll my eyes theatrically. I did manage to stop myself from sighing audibly but it was a near run thing.

I realise acceptable PDA levels are different in different cultures, but sometimes I think it's just incredibly insensitive of couples to be so wrapped up in themselves and expressing their LURVE for each other at all times and in all places. I'm starting to think I've been in uniform for too long- if you SHOULDN'T do it in uniform you probably SHOULDN'T do it in public at all....

And on that, note that I said 'shouldn't' not 'can't' because I realise there are dumb people out there who 'do' anyway... and at least in my tiny corner of the world they can get masted for it.

Am I an evil grumpy single? Yup. Don't inflict your coupleness on the world, couples of the world!

(Sidenote: Would I be happy in an Islamic theocracy that prohibits PDA on pain of pain? Hell no. Because I believe that being able to choose to do the right thing is far superior to being FORCED to do the right thing...)
(Additional sidenote- link to the homeschooling mom's post will be provided at a later date and time when I have a powercord...)
Dedicated to: The couple in front of me in line at Panera that I will quite likely never, ever see again.
Coming soon! Catholic-bashing conversation overheard at Panera! Praying for infidels instead of overturning their soup bowls on their heads! (Why is it that the correct thing and the thing that would be entertaining are rarely the same?)

Anonymous Internet and Politics

I was listening to the radio yesterday and the man being interviewed was talking about that horrible crime committed by the insane young man in Arizona. The interviewee laid the blame less at the feet of the man who pulled the trigger, and more at the feet of those who 'used inflammatory language' and 'the anonymous internet hate-machine' saying tings like "I hope the zombie armies aren't about to come out of the woodwork.'
While I agree with him that teen pop culture has an unhealthy taste for zombies, vampires and gang violence, I was worried by his take on the internet- specifically anonymity on the internet.
Regarding the shooting in Arizona. I'm pretty sure the guy who did it was either off
his meds or undiagnosed and not taking meds. That being said I can return to the issue of anonymity.
I am part of a generation that has grown up with personal computers and the internet. It is not news to me. My brother is more technologically adept than I am, but I am still able to do everything I need/want to on the internet and I can make it look relatively easy. The man who was being interviews was from what is being called the 'technology immigrant' generation. He's like the guy who comes over from the mother country and learns just enough English to do simple transactions- buy groceries, find the restroom, say please/thank you.

I'm like someone whose parents came over from the mother country when I was still tiny and said parents were rich enough to get me into a good (non-bilingual) school, and I'm conversant in both languages. I can talk to the old people at my church and we understand each other 90% of the time (they lose me for a bit when they talk about things like canning fruit at home). I can also talk to people my age who've grown up in this country and I can understand them 90% of the time (though they lose me when they start talking about pop culture references from their own childhood).

The point of this rather over-extended analogy is that I have grown up with a different expectation of what the internet should be like. My friends and I were pissed as all get out when youtube started taking down videos with copyrighted material in them. We were used to being able to share media like that freely. Whether or not we should be able to is a topic for a different post. More to the point right now is the anonymity. People have many personas online, legitimate, deliberately cultivated personas. For example- you log onto your professional email and your personal email in the morning and you read your emails. After that, you sign in with a different screen name to your blog and write a post. After that, you go on Amazon to do some shopping, with a different screen name. Maybe you belong to a gaming forum or two and you have a screen name for each. That's easily six different screen names. Your professional one will probably be your right name or some clever play on your right name. Your personal one might be more flippant- perhaps referring to some hobby you have. Your blog screen name will probably be significant to you in some other way. While your Amazon screen name might be the same as your professional email address, Amazon studies what you buy and tailors its suggestions to you. It could be said that the website gets an idea of who you are- and that can be pretty amusing when you buy some really unrelated things! The gaming forums are the ones where I think it is most likely that who people think you are will have the least resemblance to who you really are. This, at least when it has happened to me, has been a combination of vagueness on my own part and a tendency of my fellow gamers to make assumptions based on who they are.
Is this wrong? No. My fellow gamers don't need to know my age, gender, profession, state of residence or anything else personal about me. All they need to know is that I like the same kinds of games that they do and that I'll be on at more-or-less this time a few days a week.
And I can't help it if they make assumptions about my age, gender, profession, state of residence or anything else personal about me based on stuff like "I enjoy reading history and historical fiction, I love cold weather and sudoku."

Sorry this post is a bit rambly, but I left to do other things and I can't seem to find the thread of it again... Anyway. Two more things I'll add, then I'll quit for the day.
First, I recently saw a video of an attack on a WoW funeral. No, it wasn't someone's character who had died, it was the player. Her friends decided to hold a memorial service for her online and it was attacked by a bunch of idiots. I know those people who were responsible later said things like "We wouldn't do something like that in real life" but the fact that they would do it _online_ because that makes it okay is not right. I also feel that was a failure on the part of the game designers to not have some kind of safe-zone or weapons/magic-free sanctuary where people could peacefully gather. Conduct online matters, if we don't all want to be labeled as part of the 'zombie army'.

Second, I have a confession to make. Once, years ago, I did use my internet anonymity 'for evil' as it were. Someone I knew had screwed up their own life considerably and was making great strides to screwing up the life of one my acquaintances. I was fed up with this person and I found their live journal. I read it, and I saw exactly how much of a mess their life was. If I'd been older I hope I would have been able to see that this person needed professional help. As it was, I was still so angry with the individual in question, that between what I knew from the lj and what I knew from real life, I had ammunition. So I commented anonymously on their live journal. I said some very hurtful and perfectly true things. I dug my nails into half-healed wounds and I ripped.
I shouldn't have done that. I know that now. I have no excuse.

Don't blame 'the internet hate machine' or 'the zombie army'. Blame people, poor decision making and human nature.

Nota bene: I hate the grammatical corkscrews that keeping someone gender-anonymous has caused but deal with it. For the record, I haven't seen or heard from the person in question for seven years and I hope I never will. I am praying for this person.

DADT Repeal: Rant

So much to say, so little inclination to actually write....argh. Okay, here goes...

Regarding DADT, its recent repeal and the implications of aforementioned repeal

I wish I could give some people at the highest levels of my chain of command a small piece of my mind. I wish I could give them a deck-plate view (I used deck-plate therefore I am steeped in Navy traditions..), but they clearly aren't interested in getting it. Not once in all the media hype and coverage surrounding this 'historic' event that I have seen, has anyone interviewed a literate, currently-serving member of the armed forces who is opposed to the repeal of DADT.
On the whole, the armed forces have been portrayed as anywhere from apathetic to whole-heartedly enthusiastic about an instant repeal of DADT...
To my fellow servicemembers who approve of the repeal: think of the GMTs, people. If NOTHING else, think of the hours of your life that you will never get back doing GMTs (sensitivity training/annual training/'awareness' training for you civilian readers). Don't we already have enough GMTs to do?
If that doesn't motivate you, little will.

Here's a thought, Washington and Assorted Brass- the reason why you didn't get most of those surveys you sent out back is because the vast majority of us are too damn busy doing our jobs to fill out anything that won't directly affect our pay, housing or access to food. You think I'm joking but I'm not. If you REALLY wanted to know what everyone thought, you'd send that damn survey to every single servicemember out there and make it MANDATORY to return it. 100% contact. We do that with NMCRS donation forms every year. It can be done. You won't do it though, because the news will be depressing. I heard somewhere that about forty percent of Marines surveyed said they won't re-up. I'd say probably half that number are not in a financial position to decide that- but that their numbers will be made up for by people who haven't yet realized the full impact that the repeal of DADT will have.

Here's what I want and what I won't get- I want to get out and keep my bonus money and my GI bill because I signed up for a different Navy. People who disagree with my point of view may say "Get out, we can't get rid of your bigoted kind fast enough."
My answer? I have some very specialized skills that I'm taking with me as I leave. To train up my replacement will take you two years, minimum. My departure will impact mission readiness. But if it was free pass to get out, I know I wouldn't be the only one to take it.

But that won't happen. I'll grind my teeth and fulfill my contractual obligation. I'll be damned if I re-up though.

Now I'm done shooting my mouth off.
Bring it on.

Happy St. Nicholas Day!

Happy feast of St. Nicholas, Bishop of Myra, Defender of Orthodoxy, Wonder-worker, and Holy Hierarch! He is the patron saint of children, Russia, sailors, the Navy, archers, thieves, students, and the cities of Aberdeen, Amsterdam, Barranquilla, Bari, Beit Jala, Fribourg, Huguenots, Liverpool, Siggiewi, and Lorraine.
He also punched Arius and we've got the icons to prove it!

St. Nicholas is a truly awesome saint. According to something I read, in life he was only about five foot tall and may have had a broken nose (I wonder if Arius punched him back...) yet his generosity has been remembered for a very long time now. In his memory and in honor of his name-day, I brought lots of chocolate for my class. We're having a tough week. We have a big scary test tomorrow and another one tomorrow. I'll be hitting up the Wonderworker of Myra with my prayers for the octave after his feast!

In other news, class has been extended into next week. Argh. etc.

If you can't say anything nice...

Okay, so I'll prefix this with the warning that it is out of chronological order. The incident I'm talking about took place on Wednesday, but I still feel the need to blog about it so here goes.
So on Wednesday there was a frocking ceremony. For those unfamiliar with Navy ways, it means people get to wear their shiny new insignia but won't actually get paid for it until the great powers that be in Wherevertheheckistan feel like paying them. (I'm serious- sometimes it takes multiple phonecalls and several months!)
Anyway. It's a big deal, everyone's dressed to the eights, lots of clapping and 'job well done'-saying.
So I got there absurdly early to get a good seat and before the ceremony starts, I start overhearing a conversation behind me. I can't help it, it's just how I'm wired. If you put a cereal box in front of me and say "Don't read this", I'll still read it. It's like a reflex action. Likewise, hearing the conversation of other people if they don't actually make the effort for me to not overhear them... Not proud of this, it's just how my ears work.
~
She: Argh. It's so frustrating to see these people getting advanced! How many of them really know their jobs? They're going to go out to the fleet and get people killed because they think they know what they're doing and they don't have a lick of sense between every five of them! Argh!

He: Mumblemuble>toughjob.butIguessyou'reright.
She: It drives me nuts to see them just handed this! Anywhere else this MEANS something. Here, people get on my case because I'm _just_ a first class! They think I'm a screwup who could have made chief already >rant revealing obvious insecurities goes here<.
~
It was longer and more heart-felt than that, and what I heard on the plus side was that there is a very concerned first class who's worried about the future of the Navy. On the negative side... that wasn't the time or place for such a rant. It's a ceremony about recognizing and advancing these people for their hard work.
Yes, I know, some of them haven't done the job yet. But some of them have. I know some of them will take this 'easy' advancement and abuse the hell out of their shiny new insignia. But some of them won't. I know some of them are lousy sailors. But some of them aren't.
And that first class's comments were an attempt on her part to cheapen what was happening. It was neither the time nor the place for such commentary. If this was such an issue to her, why didn't she write someone who cared? Why did she have to bring her issues to their party?
I should have been up there. Bad luck and a bum calendar kept me from that. I know quite a few people in a similar situation. Some of them are a little bitter about it. I'm not. Honestly, when I get there, I'll be better prepared than I would otherwise have been. But my not being up there didn't mean I had a right to criticise those who were as being inexperienced or lacking in professionalism. The first class's behavior was unsat. Oddly enough, it did nothing to further her 'cred' in my opinion. Prior to her tirade, I saw her as an established professional in our field and someone who I could learn from, even if not in a mentor-protege type situation. I felt that I could just talk to her about what we do in our jobs and that would be fine. Now, knowing her unabashed opinion of some of her juniors, I realise that while she may be an established professional, I wouldn't really want her as a mentor and I'm not sure if I'd want to ask her questions. She'd probably say "Look it up already, slacker!"
Newsflash- if I'm asking a professional question it's because I've already done the research and can't find what I'm looking for.
Argh.
Anyway. We are all human. We all have our failings and our weaknesses and our bad days. But advancement ceremonies/weddings/birthdays/major holidays are times when we have to strive to put our personal feelings aside and think of the other people around us. We have smile and be nice even when we don't feel like it. If she'd said that same rant over dinner in a restaurant to a friend, or even in the parking lot afterwards, it wouldn't have seemed so off.
I don't want to be like that, ever. If I ever do something like that then call me on it, okay?

It figures

So we have a command run today to commemorate the fallen. I hate command runs with a passion, even ones that happen for causes more worthy than 'Because I said so'. Oh well. I was totally resigned to the fact that I would have to drag my stupid body over three miles at something like speed at an ungodly hour. Until I woke up at five twenty with the cold shivers.
Oh yes.
Mandatory flu shots happened less than a week ago. So I now have the cold shivers, the sore throat, the achy limbs, other less mentionable symptoms and no appointment. Because at 0615 all the appointments are gone already. Yay, free healthcare.
It remains to be seen if my chain of command decides to take mercy on me. Because if not I guarantee this will be one time that I'm not falling out due to shin splints.
Details to follow.

Really, sir? Really truly?

When your SEL is giving you the hairy eyeball, there is probably a reason why. And part of that might have something to do with you saying "I will personally inspect my entire command" when said command consists of slightly over one thousand souls.
I might add that this is after said command has already been inspected by division heads. So chiefs and senior chiefs have already given up what could have been a normal morning to inspect everyone in the near dark at a different location than usual. Everyone's done this already in recent memory.
Why are we repeating this evolution?
I guess we clearly have nothing better to do than get up at oh dark thirty on the Monday after Halloween weekend to go to a place we've never been before with the rest of our department and get there an hour before he does and get heightlined by an OCD first class.
Yup.
Oh- and this isn't going to be a 'Good shoes, hm... you'll do' inspection. This is going to be a "What is your seventh general order?" inspection.
Again, really?
With all respect, the vast majority of us have been out of bootcamp for more than one year, will never stand such a watch and have our heads filled to the bursting point with other JOB RELATED bits of info that will help us carry out the mission.
Rargh.
'Cause this guy wants to make admiral. Or he hates us all or something. I mean, there were something like five DUIs right after he took command so I could see why he'd be pissy, but consider the fact that all of those people are on the way out- and we're not! We're the more-or-less good ones who can be trusted to show up for work on time, do our job and not complain until we get home.
And then he goes and does something like this....
It's just a little contrary to good order and discipline if you ask me. Which of course no one has.
Also, it doesn't say much about his faith in his department heads- doesn't he think they can be trusted to do a good job?
It's special. So very special...

Dinner: Much more difficult than it looks

As I write this, I am sipping on a protein shake. Not for any special love of protein shakes, mind you. It is Friday and on Fridays (and Wednesdays for that matter) if I remember, I go meatless. It took me a while to find this particular variety of shake mix as I wanted one with no artificial sweeteners- which I found out was more or less asking for the very-difficult-though-not-impossible. But I am not here to talk to you about protein shakes, or about the expensiveness of organic milk (which, for three and a half dollars a half-gallon had better be taken from a cow who has a better diet than I do!), but of the wacky differences between people- most specifically between me and my roomie.
You see, we are very different people.

Roomie cheerfully gets up at oh-dark-thirty on a non-pt day to go mow grass.
I drag my sorry self to pt three days a week, whinging all the way both in real life and on this blog.

Roomie is a neat-freak with a neat-freak's room.
I am relieved to find out that my carpet is under there somewhere.

Roomie thinks [s]margirine[/s] [s]margerine[/s] [s]margerin[/s]... FAKE BUTTER is just as good as real butter in cooking and baking.
I think that stuff is not far enough away from plastic in its chemical composition.

Roomie watches work-related stuff on the weekends and studies for job-related stuff.
I watch the Last Airbender and MST3K.

Roomie puts away the blender as one cohesive whole.
I put it away in four, sometimes five parts.

And therein lies the tale.... Perhaps you guessed it when I dwelt at length upon the difficult-to-find protein shake, or the expensive milk. So.
When I put away the blender in four or five parts, I do so because I thoroughly clean the blender. And because, truth be told, we have plenty of room in the kitchen cabinets. Returning for a moment to the thorough cleaning of the blender and its bits, there is a rubberized plastic ring that goes between the spinny bit and the glass bit. This ring is pretty much all important in the proper running of said blender. This afternoon when I reached for the blender, I saw that Roomie had put it all together- but I wasn't so easily fooled! I'd seen my mom drop the bottom part of the blender on her foot* because she thought it was firmly screwed into the base and it wasn't! So, I pulled out the top part of the blender (spinnything, glass part and lid) first, and then the bottom part. I put the top part securely back onto the bottom part and got a banana and the milk from the fridge. I poured the milk- and I'd poured almost a full shake's worth before I realized that it was spilling all over the counter. Yep. You guessed it. The all important rubber bit was not where it was supposed to be. And there went the lovely organic milk. There went my dinner. I was too fed up to do anything more with it, ironically enough because I hadn't had anything to eat. So I said "Screw it, I'm going out!" and I went out and got chik-fil-a. Good idea.
You know, this whole thing seemed a lot more blog-worthy when I began it...
Whatever.


* I must specify here that I can't remember if it was my mom or my dad** who did this, but on the whole I think it's more likely that my mom did this. It's the sort of thing she would do...
**Lest you think my home life was even weirder than it actually was, I will point out that I have a memory like a steel sieve. I know this incident occurred, in my house. Exact details escape me. Aren't you glad I don't have jury duty?

Soo slow...

So, a cooperative project... no, scratch that, TWO cooperative projects, one recently revived the other brand new, are currently moving slower than molasses. It's very frustrating because I feel there's nothing I can do in either case. Well, that's not strictly true. In the revived project, I could write something more. But in the new one I'm really waiting on other people and I find this hugely frustrating, because I'm pretty sure that as soon as I start class everything will pick up and it'll get frustrating to keep all ducks in their correct rows.
On a more positive note, I had amazing homemade enchiladas for lunch today, courtesy of Svenska, whose apartment looks a lot more put-together than mine does. We discussed the possibility of a shared birthday party after the PRT. We'll see what happens. I'd like it but I'm not going to hold my breath. I'm also kinda annoyed that my birthday probably will fall in my first week of class. Yippee. On the upside, Navy Day Ball should be FREE this year! Meaning my only expense will be getting a room for staying after! And I'm seriously thinking about doing that because I fully intend to drink, dance and have a wonderful time! And unlike Sunny Point, the safe-ride program here seems woefully inadequate. And if I did safe ride, I'd have to come back and get my car the next day. So all things considered, I think the hotel room would be the cheapest option. Now I need to find someone to split the costs with because I think it's dumb to book a two-bed room if you don't have AT LEAST one other person staying with you.
However if it comes right down to it and I can't get someone else, I will just eat the expense and call it part of my birthday present to myself.

Of bills and deadlines

So I'm pretty good about making sure the bills stay paid. I pay my phone bill on the fourth of every month because for whatever reason that seems easy for me to remember. I have an electricity bill now that I try to pay after my second paycheck though I still haven't fixed a date for that. I have an automatic payment set up for my car the day after my second paycheck. And this month, my student loan, my biggest, baddest concern, may or may not have gotten away from me. You may ask, how did this happen?
I'll tell you.
So, it was about the eighteenth of this month that I tried to pay my student loan online. I hadn't had to do that in a while. Usually I pay via money order or check- more frequently by check these days. But in a fit of stupidity, I had packed my checks and mailed them in one of the boxes to my parents' house. Ooops. And my mailing address had still not quite caught up with me. So there I was, without my checks. I tried to pay online. I submitted all the information correctly, I thought and called it good.
Then today, on a whim, I checked my bank account balance. It said I had a lot of money. This was both surprising and alarming, because the vast sum of money I had in it, I had already designated for paying off my student loan this month, and in fact had thought I succeeded in that. I called them today, at quarter to five and asked if the payment had in fact gone through and they told me... drumroll... No. It hadn't. Something about the account number being wrong.
But had they told me or notified me in any way? No.
I was just going to proceed under the assumption that all was well until I got an angry letter from them, apparently. Good thing I checked today, and not at minute too soon.
I got back into my account and tried desperately to right things. I resubmitted a vast sum of money to them and got a screen telling me that my payement would be processed as paid today since it wasn't five yet, but as I now know from my previous experience that could be totally useless if I have mistyped a number or have some kind of incorrect account info.
ARGH!
Why didn't they notify me?! Why?!
You know what? The important thing is now I know that doesn't work. And I've learned- if I have a suspiciously large amount of money in the bank for too long, something has probably gone wrong and I should see to it.
Even if the worst happens and I get in trouble for paying this stupid thing late, I have learned a valuable, painful, costly lesson. Even if I don't get dinged for cash, this is playing merry hell with my nerves. I don't know how I'm going to eat that delicious dinner I smell cooking right now. Argh... Frustration.
Fear.
Unhappiness.

PT! Good for me! Good for you! Aaarggh....

So, I am back on a more strictly regimented PT schedule. I hasten to point out to my dear readership that I WAS going to the gym every single day in the evening and biking or elipticaling my little heart out. Every single blessed day. I was sooo good. And then I joined the Div. And suddenly my time was less my own. I expected that. I did not expect Monday morning to be the most painful run I've had in a long time. Perhaps I should have, especially since I haven't run in a while. But then, I thought why bother?

I bike my PRT. Laugh. Go ahead and get it out of your system. It's hilarious, right? That we're allowed to plop down on a bike and burn calories for 12 minutes in lieu of a run. Well, stuff you. It's a damn good work-out and it's CARDIO which is what matters. Besides, would you say the same thing about swimming? Well, probably. But I'd love to see someone get horribly shown up- 'Oh, swimming's EASY! I don't need to practice, I'll just show up and PRT!" Hehe.. You die by lap eight if you do that...
I on the other hand, can just throw myself into the pool and push out 12 laps in the required time. I've done it. I don't recommend it, and I know I could have done better if I remembered racing turns, but that's neither here nor now.

The main thing right now is this- in less than 10 weeks, I'm supposed to do my real twice-a-year PRT. Does it make ANY sense to not practice how you're going to play? No. Not really. Is there any earthly reason why I shouldn't be doing machine PT instead of this running crap? Again, no. The only thing I've heard said for running is that it builds division cohesiveness. I fail to see how that works. Yep, everyone cheers for me when I 'do my best' and drag my dying body over the line in one last, all-or-nothing sprint, but there's less cheering in the first half-mile where I'm stumbling and kicking the person behind me.... Because the slow people run up front. I hate it, I hate it, and it's not helping me.

They might say "You'll slack off." Like hell. Honestly? I have my crows. That's supposed to mean something, I thought. Means that I can handle a little extra responsibility and can be trusted not to completely screw up if left unsupervised. At least that's what I thought it meant.

Anyway. Tomorrow at oh-dark-thirty, I will probably be running. If you think of it, say a prayer.

Oh yeah, one more thing- if you want to say something clever like 'You can bike in your own time' the answer is 'No I can't. My body is all-over-agony from yesterday's PT...'